This is the third step in the series on How to Live a More Abundant Life in 2009 (or How NOT to Set a New Years Resolution):

ABC's of Setting Goals

When someone sets a New Years Resolution, they focus only on the goals or more specifically, what they want to be different. That strategy often fails. It is not the fault of the goals. It is the fault of the individual who doesn't change the attitutes and beliefs behind their past behaviors. New behaviors require new attitudes and beliefs. Let’s break these three elements down.

• Attitudes: Attitudes are the ways that you react to situations, and to people, based on the assumptions and the beliefs that you have learned.
• Beliefs: Your beliefs are the conjectures that you make about yourself, other people, and situations. Your beliefs are based on what you think and how you think things are. Your beliefs will make you react the way that you do and cause your expectations to remain within a certain framework of thoughts.
• Behaviors: Your behavior is how you implement the attitudes that you have adopted towards situations and people.

When people positively change their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors they open the doors to new possibilities. Life success depends on the ability to change and be willing to learn new ways of thinking and doing things.

One of the techniques that successful people use to change their behavior is to model their personal and professional beliefs on someone in their field whom they admire and respect. Who is it that they admire and respect? When people find someone who is successful in a way that they themselves define success, they need to take a look at what these successful people are doing and how they are doing it.

Another thing that people should concentrate on is to ask themselves who they’re mixing with. If people find that they’re spending time with other people who wouldn’t be defined as successful then they need to start mixing with those people who do define success and are leading successful professional lives. This doesn’t mean that you leave behind those people in your life who have chosen poor goals. It only means that you start mixing with those people that have an attitude towards their life that is considered to be positive and winning.

What this means for you is that you encourage positive leadership and modeling in your life so that you are able to succeed and achieve the goals that you have set for yourself. Goals are personal to every individual so it’s up to you to set the bar when it comes to your attitude and determination.

We will talk more about our beliefs in step #4....In the meantime, tell a friend to catch all the steps here >> http://rehuxley.livejournal.com/tag/new+years+resolutions

>> Share your thoughts by clicking on the comment link below.

What do you do when you and your partner have different beliefs about parenting?

This is actually a very common problem. I would go so far as to say that every family suffers from this issue or I should say every child suffers from this parenting issue.

In my 20 years of experience I have found that the most common way this is expressed is in how parents discipline. More specifically, what they discipline for and when they will discipline a child.

In extreme cases this can lead to seperation and divorce. On the most mild end of things, the child can use the differences to manipulate and control the home. None of this things are necessary!

Here's a couple quick ideas to get parents on the same page:

1. Take a parenting class. There are classes in every city of America and maybe the world. Point is that a parenting class can be found and they are all good so why don't parents take one? Is it pride? Stubbornness? I know it can't be money because many classes don't cost anything. If there isn't a class in your area, I know there are thousands of parenting books available to read. I wrote one myself!

Once parents take a class or read a book together, they can start parenting using the same techniques and philosophy. Most parents parent based on their experiences as a child, good or bad. Learn a new, third way of doing things.

2. Two heads are better than one. Never make a decision about without two parents agreeing. If you can't agree, then decide not to decide. I am not talking about the mundane things like what to make for dinner...or am I? Maybe this too needs to go through the parenting committee. Put your heads together and decide that too.

Most kids split the parents knowing who they can work and asking that one a question. Tell the child you will decide after you talk to the other parent. Let them tantrum and fume. There really isn't that many crisis situations, at least on the life and death spectrum, when it comes to making a parenting decision.

3. Learn from one another and tell each other what you like about their parenting. This could be the hardest part for many parents but a little sugar goes a long way. Besides the parenting relationship angle, this idea is useful in using similar parenting styles. No one parent knows it all or is perfect. Every parent has strengths and weaknesses. Learn and acknowledge the good points in the other and you will find, over time, that you are parenting in a very similar fashion.

4. Use over 3000 parenting tools and tips of the Parenting Toolbox. The membership is lifetime and you never renew your fees. It is like parenting insurance with no annual dues. And if you join today you get a no charge membership to the Anger Toolbox as well. That is a two for one special offer. Start building a stronger, happier home today at http://parentingtoolbox.com

Thanks for listening,

Ron Huxley
Marriage and Family Therapist
Parenting Educator
Father of Four!