Marriage takes work. Anyone who doesn't believe that probably doesn't have
a marriage anymore or at least, not a happy one. If you relationship is in
trouble, here are some helpful tips on how to make it a priority once again!

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1. Don't sweat the small stuff. If your husband or wife is
always leaving clothes lying around or putting near empty
drink containers in the fridge, is it really worth getting
a divorce over it? Small things like this can be worked out
very easily. Remember, you likely knew about these annoying
habits before you got married.

2. Make all of your major decisions together. Many couples
fight because one of the partners is not treating the
marriage like a partnership. Large decisions like big
purchases etc. should be made together. It's not worth the
arguing just to be able to do it alone.

3. Work on marriage maintenance from the start. Doing
things like getting couples therapy and taking retreats
regularly keep a marriage fine tuned, while still dealing
with the daily stresses.

4. Schedule regular dating or alone time. When I say
regular, I mean every day should have some time set aside
for just the two of you. Don't let yourselves drift apart.
That is always the sign that something is wrong.

5. Agree to disagree on the things that you and your
partner just can't see eye to eye on.

6. Be willing to admit defeat every now and then, even if
you know that you are right. It seems stupid to end a
marriage over a disagreement.

7. Make passion a top priority. You don't want to let the
sizzle leave a marriage if you can avoid it. Most of us
don't want to admit it, but eventually, the spark can
leave, and when it does, you have to create one.

8. Don't try to change your partner because it will never
happen. All you will accomplish in trying is letting them
know that they are not loved and wanted as is.

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As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I know that there is no
greater emotional pain that can be inflicted on someone than the
announcement by your partner that they want a divorce.

Even if both of you have "seen it coming" for some time, and the
idea of it comes as no big surprise, the actual words still hit like
a bomb exploding in head. It's really over . . . .

When it's "out-in-the-open" that the person you held hands with so
many years ago, and promised to love - honor - and obey - to be
supportive of, to stand beside in good times and bad -through
sickness and health - for richer or poorer - no longer wants you or
your love. You have been rejected, and it's just about the most
damaging thing you'll ever face in your lifetime.

If you're at this point in your life right now - help is at hand.

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Whatever your circumstances, it is of the utmost importance that
when the pain of divorce descends upon you, you realize that you can
recover -that you will recover - and that this is in reality,
however bad it may seem right now, is an opportunity for you to
attain real and total happiness.

Our self help guides for men and women explore with you your current
feelings and help you work your way through the gloom into the light
at the other side of the tunnel.

You'll read about the basic steps required in recovering from
divorce, how to accept your circumstances, recover from the hurt and
grow as a person.

You'll discover how to win back your self esteem after divorce, how
to just let go of the guilt and depression and start your journey to
a better life.

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